The State of Things

I’ve found myself complaining too much lately. Maybe there is plenty to complain about, but it’s been too consuming and I desperately need a change. I want to find the silver linings. I want to appreciate the little things and rejoice in the subtle triumphs life brings rather than attending the pity party running circles in my head.

That being said, this list I’m about to make is not to celebrate the negative, instead, to serve as a starting point. One, three, six months down the road I can peek at this list and note the change that has happened in my life. Too many times I’ll meet up with a friend that I haven’t seen for a few months and they’ll ask me the ubiquitious, “What’s new with you?” and then I fumble over my words trying to scrape up something semi-interesting about my life, but my head is screaming, “NOTHING! Nothing is new with me! Just the same ol’ boring since I last saw you.” That’s not the truth though. There is always something “new” happening and I need to open my eyes a little wider to realize it.

So here’s the state of things:

  • My husband is an addict but has been clean for one full month.
  • I’ve been seperated from my husband since July. We’ve only started talking again for the past two.
  • I’m living at my in-laws house and have been since July.
  • I have a beautiful, healthy, smiley, squeaky 5 month old boy, Beckett.
  • I still have 25 postpartum pounds to lose 😦
  • I’ve got a great job working for my in-laws that is something I enjoy-Graphic Design-provides great health insurance, lets me get in as many hours as I want (minimum 30) and I only go into the office 12 hours a week.
  • I have the best childcare that is Beckett’s Nana (my MIL) and Grammy (my mom)
  • My “dream” starter house is on the market and has been since November.
  • I owe over $16,000 that includes credit cards and hospital bills.
  • I’m dealing with a lot of stress between my family thinking “She should just get divorced already” and my in-laws hoping but not expecting we’ll get back together.
  • Yesterday, on a whim, I dyed my hair dark again after 2 years of letting it grow out to my natural hair color. I’m sure that’s pertinent.

This is me and my life unfiltered.



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